Posts Tagged ‘toys’

Things You Can’t Un-Hear

Monday, October 25th, 2010

You when something is just so ugly it’s kinda cute? Wishniks aren’t in that category. They’re just hideous, creepy little dolls that came in a variety of outfits. And, apparently, they managed to get a recording contract (from Satan himself, I can only imagine). If you look hard enough, you can find a digital copy of this abomination online, but be warned. It will haunt your dreams for all eternity. I have no doubt that if the Wishniks were still recording today, they would definitely cover Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”.

Style Trekkin’

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

When this motion picture based on the immortal TV series hit the theaters, it wasn’t the blockbuster they had hoped for (but it’s sequels were, for the most part). But, one element really clicked with fans, and that was Lt. Ilia, played by the late Persis Khambatta. Toy companies tried to make her into a fashion doll, and even went so far as creating this perplexing toy. Maybe it was for the hairstyling-challenged, who knows. At least it came with the Ilia probe’s nifty sensor crystal, even though they felt the need to give it a very 70’s name change. Discovered at the Lamden’s Hardware in Ludington, WI.

Someone Needs a Time Out

Monday, October 11th, 2010

One would assume this variation on a popular talking doll served the purpose of learning to be tolerant towards bullies and obnoxious brats, but most likely it resulted in toy destruction and long lasting resentment. A life lesson, nonetheless. It’s not as annoying as “Violent Violet”, a doll that would actually strike you with considerable force and then apologize. Luckily that never made it to production. Found at the Daws rummage sale in Crab Orchard, IL.

The Power of Consumerism Compels You!

Monday, September 20th, 2010

People have falsely accused iconic marketing images like Hello Kitty of being the product of satanic endeavors, but in this case I’m pretty sure it’s true. These little demonic hamsters are everywhere, and kids are just scooping them up. Did anyone notice the extensive power requirements to run them? I’m just sayin’ keep the holy water handy. By the way, do you think they asked Linda Blair for an endorsement? Although they can be found everywhere, this is one turned up at the St. Vincent’s Swap Meet in Corydon, KY.

Shaggy and Scooby I could understand, but..

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Reality trumps fiction once again! Just when you thought real toys couldn’t get any weirder, along comes this. Iconic cartoon characters suckin’ on tar sticks!? Blasphemy, but true!! Even though these cheap knock-off toys are unlicensed, they bear a perfect resemblance to our Hannah Barbera favorites. Actually, according to the contents of those little cigarettes, it might explain why Huckleberry Hound was so laid back and why Yogi Bear was always hungry. I wonder..

Accept No Substitutes!

Monday, September 13th, 2010

Today we visit our dusty, neglected Toy Rack for a rather obvious licensing venture. Rather than put his face on a pizza box, Fats decided to endorse his literal namesake. And for all you domino players that thought you were doin’ it right, take heed, posers! These are OFFICIAL dominoes! Found at Nea’s Drug Store in (where else) New Orleans, LA.

Epic Toy Weirdness

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Dear, oh dear, where to begin. First, let me assure you this is a real toy, despite the fact it’s a big bowl of wrong any way you look at it. Is it that the word “Pedo” is in the name, or that the cartoon boy on the package looks like he’s being attacked by one? Even more obvious is the shape and color scheme of the toy itself. Do we even need to go there? I don’t think so. Surprisingly, similar toys with the same name are out there (but in much less disturbing designs). FYI: Yes, we did notice the “action lines” in the illustration that make it look like it’s vibrating. We decided not go there either.

No Worries! He’s Already Dead.

Monday, September 6th, 2010

One might think this variation on a classic would be easier since the welfare of the “patient” isn’t an issue. But, the challenge lies in getting the internal organs out without damaging them (ie. touching the sides) to determine the cause of death. Morbid future-forensic scientists could really get a kick out of dissecting someone who’s kicked. They really missed the boat by not licensing the television show Quincy, M.E. but apparently it was tied up at the time with toys like this one. Found at Reif’s Hardware in Boyette, FL.

The Ultimate Driving Game!

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

When this new hand held cartridge-programmable game system hit the market in 1989, they started licensing everything they could transform into a game, whether it made sense or not. This game, based on the 1989 Best Picture Oscar winner, is a perfect example. You could play as Morgan Freeman’s or Jessica Tandy’s character (pretty innovative at the time) and basically bore yourself to death. Not all great movies make great video games. This 8-bit oddity drove in from the Game Xchange in North Hodge, LA.

You’ve Got a Date with a Dalek!

Friday, August 20th, 2010

A lot of kids wanted to be a traveling companion of that famous Time Lord, but this board game tie-in combining educational and sci-fi themes aimed at young girls just didn’t fly back in 70’s. One of the oddities of its gameplay was that you could only “travel” to the past, and not the future. But then again, what other game allowed you to get a date with that ladies’ man of a founding father Benjamin Franklin? Finding one complete is tough, but even the “secret door” alone brings in the bucks at your typical toy show. This Gallifreyan delight comes to us from a private collector in Barrhead, Scotland.