Posts Tagged ‘real’

Things You Can’t Un-Hear

Monday, October 25th, 2010

You when something is just so ugly it’s kinda cute? Wishniks aren’t in that category. They’re just hideous, creepy little dolls that came in a variety of outfits. And, apparently, they managed to get a recording contract (from Satan himself, I can only imagine). If you look hard enough, you can find a digital copy of this abomination online, but be warned. It will haunt your dreams for all eternity. I have no doubt that if the Wishniks were still recording today, they would definitely cover Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”.

Hello, My Name is Íñigo Narwhal..

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

This is officially the most awesome toy based on any sea life ever! We had always imagined the narwhal would be a bad-ass if it decided to exact revenge upon the rest of the world, but we never considered immortalizing the concept in plastic. Luckily, someone else did! And does cuteness provide a defense against the narwhal’s anger? No! Take that, baby seal, and penguin, and.. koala bear?? That’s one overdeveloped sense of vengeance (and a long swim).

‘Twas Mediocrity That Killed the Beast

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

You would think the poster for this very real 1976 joint Korean/American venture is sporting that silly disclaimer as a clever bit of advertising, the goal being to do just the opposite of what it says. In reality, it was actually the result of a lawsuit by RKO. They originally titled it “The New King Kong”, and were making no bones about wanting to cash in on the Dino De Laurentiis remake of the original. By the way, we encourage you to at least find and watch the trailer for this film so you can truly experience how horrible it is. It’s Grade-A Drive-In Fromage.

Shaggy and Scooby I could understand, but..

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Reality trumps fiction once again! Just when you thought real toys couldn’t get any weirder, along comes this. Iconic cartoon characters suckin’ on tar sticks!? Blasphemy, but true!! Even though these cheap knock-off toys are unlicensed, they bear a perfect resemblance to our Hannah Barbera favorites. Actually, according to the contents of those little cigarettes, it might explain why Huckleberry Hound was so laid back and why Yogi Bear was always hungry. I wonder..

Epic Toy Weirdness

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Dear, oh dear, where to begin. First, let me assure you this is a real toy, despite the fact it’s a big bowl of wrong any way you look at it. Is it that the word “Pedo” is in the name, or that the cartoon boy on the package looks like he’s being attacked by one? Even more obvious is the shape and color scheme of the toy itself. Do we even need to go there? I don’t think so. Surprisingly, similar toys with the same name are out there (but in much less disturbing designs). FYI: Yes, we did notice the “action lines” in the illustration that make it look like it’s vibrating. We decided not go there either.

Biohazard? More Like Bio-Licious!

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Here’s a real item for which the manufacturer caught some serious flack. A Jurassic Park lunchbox? Innocent enough.. Until you see the Thermos! If they had made that biohazard label a little more cheesy and a little less ominous and realistic, maybe it would have had less chance of encouraging kids to dig around for snacks in the sharps container the next time they visit the clinic. For added effect, why not put your sandwiches in matching “specimen bags”? This piece is a part of the official Evil Meatball Vs Cat! collection.

Visit our Book of Face

Friday, August 27th, 2010

We’d like to take this opportunity to direct you to our Facebook page, which contains a few pics you won’t see here. In an epic moment of inspiration, we decided to call them “Facebook Exclusives”. So hop on over (and click that “like” button if you haven’t already) and check out the latest pic, which happens to be an inside view of a previously posted item.

We’re No. 1 (and No. 2)!

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

Leave it to the Swedish to embody bodily functions in cute plush fashion. This modern (and very real) example of toy weirdness rates seriously high on the bizarro scale. What would one possibly do with these? Take a leak? Where would you take it? Maybe you could drop the other one off at the pool? Total wackiness.

(We originally made a mistake on the country of origin, thanks NR!)

One to Phone Home About

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Yes, this is real, for I indeed had one myself. While most of us simply enjoyed flipping each other the extra-terrestrial bird with it, it’s obvious now that there were other possibilities unbeknownst to our fragile, innocent minds at the time. Once again, the product approval process fails spectacularly! BTW, this isn’t the first time we’ve reported on a phallic finger.

I’ll Never Eat Turkey Breast Again

Monday, July 19th, 2010

We don’t usually journey into reality on a Monday, but this real kitchen item just had to be acknowledged. It actually looks pretty useful, and since it actually “hooks” a turkey, even the title is a very logical and acceptable pun. But, the image it conjures should have been left to the imagination. Perhaps they could advertise the package as being a diet aid as well. It sure killed my appetite.