The truth about fiction is.. well.. it’s fiction. It doesn’t happen. And, in the case of this vintage pulp novel, it never will. But, that seems to be the point of such stories. For example, in real life, playing croquet never leads anywhere interesting, much less the direction these racy yarns do. However, lately it seems that golf does. Who knew? Picked up at the Snyder rummage sale in Beaver, UT.
When this new hand held cartridge-programmable game system hit the market in 1989, they started licensing everything they could transform into a game, whether it made sense or not. This game, based on the 1989 Best Picture Oscar winner, is a perfect example. You could play as Morgan Freeman’s or Jessica Tandy’s character (pretty innovative at the time) and basically bore yourself to death. Not all great movies make great video games. This 8-bit oddity drove in from the Game Xchange in North Hodge, LA.
Minions of the post/neo-punk era would have wet themselves (ironically) in excitement over this bathroom rug set featuring a young Diane Lane decked out as Corrine “3rd Degree” Burns. Although this movie was never widely shown and has yet to see a video release, late night airings on MTV and USA’s Night Flight created a cult following that lead to this failed licensing endeavor. The world needs more punk related bathroom items, don’t ya think? This page was torn from a 1984 Canadian Christmas catalog.
Among the strangest of celebrity dolls lies this expandable spaceman, for no other reason than sharing a name with the original creation. I wonder how Neil feels being immortalized as a corn-syrup-filled sideshow attraction? Anyway, stretch dolls were the bomb-diggity back in the day, whether they made sense or not. It’s sure better than the other Armstrong toy in our collection. On a side note, there’s an urban legend that a Stretch Louis Armstrong exists, but we have yet to see it. This orbital oddity is on loan from the Eastern Florida Space Enthusiasts Club in Cocoa West, FL.
Many celebrities such as Farrah Fawcett and Cher were immortalized as plastic hairstyling busts, so why not 70’s sensation Cheryl “Rainbeaux” Smith? Oh yeah, it’s probably because she starred in softcore adult films. Nonetheless, the profits she might have received from this proposed toy might have given her a chance at better (and longer) life. Let’s all remember her the way she was, and continue to enjoy her films in the spirit they were intended. On loan from a private collector in Craigsville, VA.
Parachute toys have a history of not making much sense, but this one came so close! If they had only realized that Lloyd Bridges’ character was a diver of the scuba (not sky) variety. At least they didn’t weigh him down with those pesky air tanks. They did, however, forget his hairy chest! I guess that’s hard to reproduce in plastic. This off-chute was discovered at Check’s Drug in Mayo, FL.
Who knew iron filings made good whiskers until this classic toy came along? Both Democrats and Republicans had fun creating unique disguises for President Clinton, some more flattering than the examples on the card I’m sure. They should make one for every president! Wouldn’t you just love to give ol’ Millard Filmore a big pair of mutton chops? This polarized presidential portrait hails from the Souvenir Supershop in Washington, D.C.
This vintage wind-up musical television tells the story of Richard Nixon’s “great fall” in lenticular animated style! Infants and toddlers could learn a valuable lesson from this little gem, while little girls could fawn over Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman to their heart’s content. I think they should have made a tape recorder instead, don’t you? Found at the Baxter rummage sale in Sharpsburg, KY.
Internet sensation Tay Zonday had a fairly profitable “15 minutes” a couple of years ago, but it didn’t last long enough to cash in on this idea. This prototype chocolate milk mix can was destined to contain his own special recipe, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps it was because Chocolate Rain’s baffling and confusing lyrics never really defined what it meant, and people didn’t want to drink whatever it was. This morning beverage wannabe comes to us from a private collector in Bancroft, ID.
These movie cards should have been packaged with cheese rather than bubble gum. This underexposed outing featuring an over exposed Sean Connery (could anyone really be paid enough to wear that outfit?) had little more marketing than these wax packs, but the image of our beloved James Bond in those thigh-high stripper boots and bright red oyster-hammock is burned into our minds forever. Discovered at the Buy-Rite Pharmacy in Sisters, OR.
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